It goes without saying that the often frugal Arsenal boardroom have made funds available to their increasingly under-fire manager, Arsene Wenger. Rumors of the £70M “war-chest” have persisted since May. While most managers would jump at the opportunity to spend these enormous sums, the ever stubborn and youth obsessed Gunner manager has bought a single player, Yaya Sanogo, for £400k (technically a free transfer, but Auxerre is due compensation.) With only 23 days left in the transfer window, only one big name target and a small fortune left to spend Wenger is feeling the pressure from both the fans and, more recently, Ivan Gazidis.
Given Arsenal’s torrid experience in the transfer market during the last few years, losing players like RVP, Cesc, Nasri, Song, etc. most fans were looking forward to this summer, one which Arsenal could finally build their squad, rather than ship out key cogs. Much to the chagrin of Gooners everywhere, it seems the desultory manager has not learned lessons from his past procrastination and may, again, be forced into last-second buys after selling off “assets.”
With the impending sales of Gervinho to Roma (£8M), Niklas Bendtner to Malaga, or Frankfurt, or wherever (£2M), and Marouane Chamakh (£unknown,) it is possible that Arsenal’s transfer kitty could balloon to £80M, and while the manager may be hesitant to spend the money, almost any visitor to Ashburton Grove and all international Gooners have their own opinion on who would be the best addition to their beloved Arsenal cadre. Here are some potential transfer coulda/shoulda/woulda/might scenarios:
Plan #1: “Believe the papers”
Luis Suarez (£45M, £150k/week)
We’ve all read it, or heard it from someone, Arsenal have made a record £40M bid for Luis Suarez. Brendan Rodgers and Ian Ayre have responded by launching a series of aspersions against Arsene Wenger, in an attempt to vilify the wily, old manager. The club are demanding £50M for the Uruguayan flesh-eater (although now, Liverpool are unable to make up their mind about his price) and Arsenal refuse to bid more than £40M. Now that Suarez has started pushing for an exit (he’s readying a formal transfer request), the clubs will be forced to split the difference (£45M for Suarez,) ending a skirmish between childish men.
The striker would fit perfectly into the Arsenal squad, playing in place of Giroud as a proven, clinical, pacey, unpredictable striker or slotting in on either side of the attacking trio, acting as an inside forward rather than an out-and-out winger. His work rate is matched only by the likes of Carlos Tevez, his eye for the goal challenged only by RVP (in the EPL) and he has the vision to split defenses with deft passes. Suarez has an uncanny ability to “create something out of nothing” (or if you’re not a fan of clichés, he’s able to score when no one thinks it’s possible.)
While there is always a concern about Luis Suarez’s ‘animal’ nature on the pitch, whether he’s racially abusing United full-backs or snacking on Chelsea defenders, he’s seldom been in legal issues or off-field scandals. At £45M, Suarez would be worth every shilling and signal an end to the dreary days of stingy Wengernomics.
Marouane Fellaini (£23.5M, £120k/week)
The mountainous Belgian had a prolific season for Everton and signing him would be a simple matter for the Gunners. A fee of £23.5M would meet his release clause and the Belgian would add toughness, bite and power to the Gunner midfield. While he is a player, like Suarez, whose decision making can become clouded by red mist (remember his headbutt of Stoke’s Ryan Shawcross,) this mercurial nature harkens back to old Arsenal enforcer, Patrick Vieira.
The concerns with Marouane Fellaini are few, but severe. This was his first, truly, world-class year and he was thrust into a more attacking position. Playing in the hole behind the striker, the mountain-man was able to use his strength to hold up play and his height to head in goals on set pieces. At Arsenal, the afroed Belgian would play in a more holding position in the midfield, and while his height and strength would be a major benefit to Arsenal, his slow feet could very well impede the flowing, pass-happy style Arsenal is renowned for.
Ashley Williams (£10M, £50k/week)
This rumor has been around since January. The Gunners had initially made an £8M bid, but were put off when Swansea asked for £10M. In truth, ten million pounds seems the right amount for this 28-year-old. He struck up a fantastic partnership with Chico Flores last year and has proven himself an exemplary central defender. He has one of the highest interception rates in the Premiership last season (2.8/game) and his accurate passing (86.5%) out of the backline fits perfectly with Arsenal’s style of play.
On the other hand, being 28-years-old, he would likely only last at Arsenal for a maximum of 5 years, and may experience a physical decline before then. Also, I don’t believe he is a higher quality defender than either Koscielny or Mertesacker (and there is a good chance that he’s not as good as Vermaelen). Williams lacks dominant aerial presence and has a tendency to commit fouls. It’s unlikely he would see much time in an Arsenal shirt unless there are injuries to those ahead of him (but that’s almost guaranteed, knowing Arsenal.)
Julio Cesar (£1.5M, £30k/week)
Not much to say about Julio Cesar that you don’t already know. He played well last year for an underachieving QPR squad. Cesar also played well during the Confederations Cup for Brazil and pitched a clean sheet during the final against the always-deadly Spain. Some say he isn’t broad or tall enough to play in the Premiership. The most important thing to remember about this transfer is that it would be a stop-gap solution, designed to either give Szczesny time to develop or to give Wenger more time to find a long term solution to the goal problem.
Plan #1 total cost: £80M, £350k/week
Plan #2: “The ‘all gone’ team”
Let’s go back to the beginning of the summer and assume no transfers had gone through. Arsenal were connected to a variety of high caliber targets, optimism was at it’s peak and hope flowed eternal. Now it’s August, and in a strange case of deja vu, Wenger’s indecisive nature and ponderous negotiations proved fatal in the chase for players. How could we have improved the team had we pulled the trigger on some of these players sooner? Specifically, the players we’ve already lost out on. This is the ‘what might have been’ summer signings.
Gonzalo Higuain (£34M, £130k/week)
The ‘Hig’ has pace, is a natural finisher, a good passer and has world-class pedigree, having played for Real Madrid. He has almost everything you want in a lone striker (okay he’s not great in the air) and Napoli supporters should be shouting joyous exclamations, at the top of their lungs, now that he’ll be dressed in powder blue. This was a real miss by Arsene Wenger and given the constant price increases by Liverpool, they may have spurned their best chance at tying up a very good striker this summer.
That being said, I believe at £34M he is not good value for money. £27M seemed to have been Arsenal’s ceiling for this player, as he is not considered truly world class. But the Gunners missed out all the same, and as the new Napoli forward is sure to bang in loads of goals in Naples, Arsenal supporters are sure to be scratching their heads if another forward isn’t brought in before August 31st.
Stevan Jovetic (£27M, £110k/week)
Arsenal’s first target this summer was Stevan Jovetic. The Fiorentina forward was seen as the piece to fill the maestro-sized hole left by the Premiership’s contemporary Benedict Arnold, RVP. The two (Jovetic and Van Persie) are very similar in play style. Both are extremely talented with the ball at their feet, accurate passers and can create magic goals. While younger, Jovetic has the same lankily choreographed movements as Van Persie, and is able to use them to a similarly devastating effect.
All of that being said, the Montenegrin would have had to start his career much like Van Persie, predominantly on the left side of the midfield or in the hole playing as a forward rather than a striker. Remember, when Robin first started his career at Highbury he was not used as an out-and-out striker but rather as an advanced midfielder, and I believe Jovetic would have been best utilized in the same manner. Jovetic hasn’t fully developed his finishing ability (and while his 13 goals in 31 appearances is a solid return, it is not the goal tally one would expect from a top-4 premiership striker), and would likely need a few more years of seasoning before becoming the focal point of the Gunners attack. But that doesn’t matter, he is at Manchester City now, and Arsene Wenger can look across the pitch, when visiting the Etihad, and wonder ‘what if?’
Etienne Capoue (£9M, £40k/week)
This signing could have been any one of three players. Victor Wanyama, Yann M’Vila and Etienne Capoue have all been linked to Arsenal in the last year. All three players would fill the gaping hole left by Alex Song (okay maybe not “gaping,” Arteta has played very well), but of all three players, I believe Capoue will have the best career in the Premiership and would have been the smartest signing.
Sigmund Freud would say Yann M’Vila has “issues.” This is a large part of the reason that the only team willing to take a chance on the young Frenchman was Rubin Kazan, a team in the notoriously xenophobic Russian League. Why? You ask. Well, it may have to do with his assault of a 17-year-old in May of last year, or maybe it had to do with the 15-year-old prostitute he ‘allegedly’ hired in February of this year. Nonetheless he signed for Rubin in January, so it is unlikely he would have ever been an Arsenal player. Bullet dodged.
Victor Wanyama is too young and rough to step into the Arsenal first team right away. He’s an exciting player and the Saints should be happy they were able to bring him to Southampton but he will commit a lot of fouls and has a good deal of growing to do before he is truly world class.
While Capoue is older and his ceiling may not be as high as Wanyama’s, he is a much more, well-rounded player. He doles out crunching tackles like sweets in a candy shop, he is able to play through balls on the ground and over the top, and most importantly, his football maturity is evident. He has exceptional anticipation, positioning and has a knack for understanding the game from a defensive perspective. While he is still officially a Toulouse player, it seems his transfer to Tottenham is all but certain. More signings like Capoue and AVB could, very likely, find himself playing in the Champions League next year.
Pepe Reina (Loan, £80k/week)
How did Arsene miss this one? Maybe, Liverpool weren’t willing to loan their old, first-choice keeper to a rival, but Pepe Reina had long been the subject of Wengerian admiration. After Jens left they looked at Pepe. Before and after Almunia left, they looked at Pepe. Now that Reina was finally available, and Arsenal are looking for another keeper to push their young Pole, they miss out on a perfect loan opportunity. Pepe Reina, very likely, could have started between the posts for Arsenal, had he signed. His inclusion in the squad could only have helped the shaky, young, Arsenal keepers develop (Flappy-handski and Sczyzycyznzy….) Rafa was able to steal one of his favorite players, for the year, leaving Arsenal shorthanded, again!
Plan #2 total cost: £70M, £320k/week
Plane #3: “What I would do”
Okay, everyone gets to put in their 2 cents, shillings or quid in, so it’s my turn. If I had £80M and ran Arsenal, this is what I would do.
Ilkay Gundogan (£33M, £80k/week)
Gundogan is the most adaptable young midfielder in the world. He’s a true, box-to-box midfielder, equally comfortable initiating attacks as he is breaking up those of opponent’s, and he has a winner’s attitude (Bundesliga winner and Champions League finalist.) Ilkay’s list of attributes is long: amazing vision and creativity, great tackling, good pace, natural finishing, accurate in his long and short passing, an incredibly high work-rate, a strong dribbler in tight spaces, and amazing natural defensive instincts. He plays with English heart, Spanish skill and German efficiency. His one weakness is his aerial ability. It’s not great. A lot of pros and not a lot of cons (oh, and did I mention he’s 22?)
I would claim that Ilkay could be the heir to Mikel Arteta, but if he were brought into the Arsenal side today, I have no doubt he would quickly replace the Spanish midfielder on the team sheet. At £33M his price may be a little inflated but he has all the talent and desire to be a world-class player and, as evidenced by his miraculous rise in notoriety at BVB and his solid performance in the Wembley Champions League final, he is capable of playing with, and against the best in the world. I feel so strongly about this player, I would sign him before I resigned Cesc Fabregas (Gooner heresy, I know.)
Alvaro Morata (£22M, £30k/week)
I know what you’re thinking Arsenal supporters, “another young ‘up-and-coming’ striker, why don’t you just kick me in the crotch?” And after Arsenal’s recent success (or lack thereof) raising young strikers, this reaction is entirely understandable. Wellington Silva, Niklas Bendtner, Carlos Vela, and Joel Campbell all failed to make an impact on the first team. But Morata isn’t an up-and-coming striker, he’s HERE, NOW. Unlike the other striking prospects, who were solid pieces of stone that needed carving and chiseling, Morata is a granite finisher who simply needs some polishing.
His stat line from last season reads: Games Started 6, Goals from GS 2, Assists from GS 1 and Sub Appearances 12, Goals from SA 4, Assists from SA 3 and 1 man of the match performance against Barcelona. His playing style is similar to that of Gonzalo Higuain as he’s not prolific in the air, but capable. He has the pace to continue a counter attack or start a break, but his abilities are on display as a classic “fox-in-the-box.” He’ll finish most balls that come to him whether they’re bundled or smooth, aerial or terrestrial. He’d be a great complementary striker to Olivier Giroud, offering a different set of skills.
It may be difficult to pry him away from Real Madrid (Carlo Ancelotti is a big admirer) but given his ‘alleged’ inclusion in the Gareth Bale dealings, he could be bought, at the right price.
Adil Rami (£10M, £40k/week)
Adil Rami is the younger, better version of Ashley Williams. (Wait, what!? An international player that can do everything better than an overrated English player? And he’s younger? Unheard of.) It’s true, he’s stronger in the air, taller, has pace, seldom dives into tackles and gives up fewer fouls than Williams. His passing ability is comparable to Ashley and Valencia are willing to part with him because of their financial difficulties.
Furthermore, he’s French (a Wenger specialty) and he’s only 27. Rami has been an Arsenal target for the last year and would provide excellent cover for Per Mertesacker (they’re practically the same height.) In fact, there is a good chance that, much like Koscielny beating out Vermaelen, Rami could overtake a player like Mertesacker on the depth chart. He’s that good.
Asmir Begovic (£15M, £50k/week)
He’s big, he’s strong, he’s reliable and most importantly, he’s fearless. If Arsene Wenger truly wanted to challenge Wojciech’s position as Arsenal’s number #1, it would be hard to find a better test. Begovic has great shot-stopping ability and an amazing throwing arm. He communicates well with his defenders and controls his area excellently. Having played at Stoke for the last three and a half seasons he’s become accustomed to wading through the towering Stoke defenders to collect balls on set pieces and crosses. At the young age of 26, Asmir has become one of the best keepers in the Premiership and he is ready for the jump to European football.
Stoke acquired the services of young Jack Butland, who is a prodigious English talent, for the explicit purpose of replacing Asmir Begovic if, and when, another team came to buy him. As the summer has worn on, it has become increasingly obvious that teams are less interested in the Bosnian. Arsene Wenger could swoop the shot-stopper and be guaranteed a quality keeper for the next 8-10 years.
Plan #3 total cost: £80M, £200k/week
Speculation! This is all speculation, but it’s the only fun we can have during the summer. Without football, we’re left with the prospect of dreaming, hoping that our respective teams improve themselves in the upcoming year. We hope that our young players flourish, our stars hold form and our manager brings in new blood to energize the squad. Transfer rumors are football pornography.
Arsene Wenger has already begun ringing the bells of defeat with the painful utterings, “if you can give me names that are better than who we have, I am ready to talk about it,” or the repetitive mantra “our squad is strong enough, NOW, to compete for the Premiership.” The only way for Arsenal to ‘lose’ this transfer window, is to not act at all. We have 23 days to make a difference, 23 days to strengthen for the marathon of the Premiership season and 23 days to save Arsenal from the downward spiral toward mediocrity it embarked on 8 years ago. Twenty-three days to save Wenger’s legacy, because another season without trophies, another backdoor entrance to the top four, will force supporters to turn against the once beloved, football genius.
It seems we need a striker, a box-to-box midfielder, a central defender and, maybe, a right full-back. It’s unlikely we address all these areas of need, especially with time winding down, but it’s important we address a few, or the fourth place trophy is all we’ll win, again. What would you do with £80M? Who would you buy?
Cheers,
Dr. Otterpus
Stateside Hooligans 
